just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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