Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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