he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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