Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize