Your mouth is God's brothel.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
