Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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