It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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