How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
