she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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