So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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