with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
