Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.

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(406): View more from Montana

I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."

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(516): View more from New York

i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?

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(308): View more from Nebraska

So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?

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(618): View more from Illinois

I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.

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(863): View more from Florida

Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?

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