He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize