so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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