Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
