yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
