I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
If that was your dad, he is hot
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
