He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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