I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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