You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
