Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
