Im at strip club and am horny
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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