she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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