To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
