im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
