google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
