it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
