you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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