That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
