Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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