You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
