all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
