Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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