i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize