brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
