I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
