I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize