So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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