just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
