It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
