If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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