Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
