so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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