I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
