mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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