i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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