Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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