when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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