yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You dont lie about slip and slides
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
