he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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