There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
