How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
