Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
