1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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