i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
