my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
