I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
