I just saw a hot homeless man
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
