I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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