it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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