i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
