It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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