fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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