I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
