MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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