Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
