a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
