how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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